The life of this mommy has been full of ups and downs the last few weeks - I hope for all our sake's it will begin to level out soon. Last week was pretty awful. I thought about writing during it, but couldn't get past it sounding like one big poor-me fest. I tried, even in the midst of it, to figure out if my feelings were valid or if I were dramatizing the whole situation. I felt terribly lonely, and so alone, forgotten, and not needed in this place. Everything has changed about our life, and I find it hard sometimes to not be a little bit bitter that I am one whose world has most been turned around. I need to be careful. Bitterness and resentment are terribly easy to grow, and awfully hard to kill.
After a whole bunch of tears that weren't totally warranted, I also realized that I just need to take this mommy business easy. All these parenting books I've been reading make me feel pressure to do everything just right so Isaiah will grow and develop optimally. But you know what? Sometimes the best thing for him (and me) is just some good snuggle time...it makes everything so much better!
Isaiah is 7 weeks old today....I think part of the troubles we were having corresponded with his 6 week growth spurt? Ah well. It's a new week, and a good one! He has consistently been going to bed around 9pm, with a wake-up to eat around 3-4am, then back to bed until 7am or so. We are starting to get a decent amount of sleep again, with much less stress at bedtimes then for the first 5 weeks of his life! It's definitely a blessing.
I captured some of his big-dimple grins...I will try to post them up when our Internet isn't being so slow. :)
Oh Lisa, I am so sorry it was such a rough go at it last week (and the past five, hah). You are probably doing a great job at being a mom and wife!! In everything, remember that you are a beautifully chosen daughter of the LORD! He will continue to guide you. You're not alone,
ReplyDeleteHe never forgets us... lots of other parents are going through the same craziness and loneliness, too! I totally remember feeling the same way. I was on Maternity leave for 6 weeks, and after the first two, when visitors slowed down, I remember actually getting lonely like everyday. even when Tim was home, it was like I thought I "had to do everything for cody" because it seemed like all I was doing was feeding him, or burping him, or keeping him upright to aid his reflux. Keep Trucking along, and enjoy the cuddling moments, or hours!!! Isaiah is a blessing for you and Andrew :) WHAT A STINKING CUTIE!!!! Cody's six months now, and i can't figure out why I have to wrestle him down just to get some cream on his cheeks, or change his diaper. Can't wait to see the pics you took.
-Amy
p.s. I'd love to hear your birth story sometime.