Mommy and Me...(with Daddy too!): The Weaning

April 28th was a big day for our family. Around 10:30 that night, right before bed, I pondered the past 15 months--with all the struggles, the tears, the triumphs, the joys, and the snuggles....and cried. It was over. All that we had fought for, all that we had accomplished and succeeded in, was over. We had done it, and that part of our life as mother and son would never again be experienced.

I didn't really think I would be this sad about weaning Isaiah. Since the early weeks of this current pregnancy, nursing has again been uncomfortable at best, painful at worst. Isaiah didn't seem too attached (no pun intended) to his daily nursing routine, and I was getting less and less so as the discomfort persisted. Thoughts of a several month break between nursing children sounded great, as well as the rising hope for a couple Andrew-and-Lisa-only get-aways before the second baby comes.

I thought to take it slow - dropping one feeding a week, which would take four weeks. Week 1 & 2 went great, and only the wake-up and going to bed feedings were left. A few days in to week 3, reading books or playing with Daddy became way more interesting than nursing with Mommy. Perhaps my milk dried up too, in the process, for one day Isaiah took one try, looked at me funny, and wanted to get up. 'All done', he signed insistently. And that was the end. All done.

It was weird the range of emotions I experienced. Relief - I no longer need to be there for my son before he goes to bed, or when he gets up (as he still wasn't drinking milk from any other source...). Sadness - was I really ready for this? I will miss our time to sit together quietly and snuggle. It feels like he doesn't need me quite as much anymore. Pride - for the rough and rocky beginning that it was, we made it one day shy of 16 months. Fear - on a small degree, as I realized that 'needing to nurse Isaiah before bed' has been a good way out of things I didn't want to do sometimes. Now that is excuse is gone. :)

These feelings caught me off guard because I know many moms who had no qualms about weaning, felt no sadness whatsoever, and didn't see it as a big event in general. I thought I may be same--nope.

Life goes on, however, and so we continue in our quest to get Isaiah to drink milk. For a few different reasons, we have started him on goat's milk. He doesn't mind it, but I think he would just as rather have water most of the time. Apart from nursing though, he hasn't ever just sat and drank milk out of a bottle (or sippy cup now), so the idea is foreign to him...and he is usually too impatient to take more than a few sips at a time. Thankfully I have read many places and been assured by some experienced mothers that milk really isn't necessary at this age, as long as they are getting their calcium and vitamins from other sources. We work towards that end.

Why nurse when I can play? My big, busy, 16 month old!