It was just Andrew and I for so long (married 5 1/2 years, a couple for 9 years), that when Isaiah joined us it felt....weird. A good weird--for the most part--but there were days, early on, when it was hard not to feel a little bit of resentment and disappointment that we weren't free to do as we pleased any longer. Suddenly we were tied down by this tiny new person that we didn't really know, but with whom we were totally consumed by all the time.
I remember the first time we were in church with Isaiah, who was 2 weeks old. It was during the worship time, and in the background I heard a baby crying softly. I just tuned it out for a few seconds, since there are lots of children at our church. Andrew nudged me - "Lisa!" I looked down at my feet (where Isaiah was crying in the carseat), and jumped a little. Oh! That's our baby! I had totally forgotten--for like a couple minutes--that we even had a baby.
There have been many surreal moments like that since Isaiah's birth, times where I've seen his picture, or looked at him playing on the floor, and thought, "Woah, that's our kid. When did that happen?!" Through those moments have also come tears (from us both!) of frustration, joy, exhaustion, wonder, and, ultimately, gratitude at the gift we have in learning to be Isaiah's parents.
I don't forget any more that we have a baby. Our family is no longer made up of two--we are three. I first realized this in the past 2 or 3 months--that the pictures of just Andrew and I together now look incomplete because they are missing Isaiah.
So we went this weekend, as a family, to a popular ski/tourist area in Quebec called Mont Tremblant, to see the fall colors (which are spectacular here right now). All the new Bible school students were going, plus almost all the staff, so we especially wanted to go so we could hang out and connect with the students.
**Enter parenthood.**
We all arrived together, took a group photo, and then I needed to feed Isaiah before we walked up to the village/mountain. We were about 15 minutes behind everyone (close to 30 people), and figured we'd just see them around. Well, we saw 4 students for a minute when we were got there, and no one else we knew the whole day. The WHOLE day. This was obviously disappointing since spending time with the new students was one of the top reasons we had come.
However, Isaiah was quite content in the ErgoBaby carrier (love it!), and, with so much to see, didn't fall alseep the whole time we were there. It was a beautiful day, and we spent time walking up the mountain a ways, through the shops in the village, and also enjoyed a wonderful picnic in the sunshine.
It was a relaxing family day.
Mid-afternoon arrived, and since it had been hours since Isaiah has slept, we realized it would be best for him for us to head home. We had kind of been holding out...waiting to meet up with people...but as we made the decision to leave I was content--totally willing, pleased, and content to do what was best for our baby. It didn't really matter that we were a little disappointed with the day, or how it played out. It didn't really matter that in the past we would have been able to hike up the mountain with all the students, stayed the whole day, and gone out to supper with them.
It didn't matter because Isaiah is worth it. Completely and utterly worth it. And I was proud of how far we've come as parents--together.
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