Mommy and Me...(with Daddy too!): February 2015

Life is full right now, in a busy but rich kind of way. I suppose life with a 3 year old and 16 month old is never slow. By God's grace and provision, I have been doing more than just surviving these cold winter months. Thriving might be pushing it, but there are definitely many moments of fun and laughter in our house.

They are getting to the age where they enjoy playing together. Ezra loves to climb on Isaiah, and they roll around on the rug or couch giggling and squealing.. "My brother wrestling me!" proclaims Isaiah with much glee. They are also developing a "Mine!" "No, Mine" (Grab, pinch, pull, push....) attitude about toys....usually it doesn't matter what it is, but if one brother has it then it is suddenly extremely desirable to the other! There are times I feel more like a referee than anything else.

a wrestling moment

So what about worn knees? I know, I really grabbed you with that title, didn't I?!

Here's the thing: I don't like playing with kids. *GASP* Did it shock you? I feel like I can pin the bad mother award up on my wall or something. But it's true. There's a reason I never wanted to babysit, or nanny, or do nursery. I've never been a "kid" person, and though I can do it, I find kid play usually pretty draining and not enjoyable.

Here's the other thing: I love my kids far more than I could have ever imagined. They are heart of my heart, flesh of my flesh, beautiful creations that completely reflect the image of God. Words cannot express how much I love them.

I don't want to wish away this time--the crazy, full, emotional, loud, needy, innocent, and oh-so-sweet time with my little guys. But it is tough, and if I'm not careful, I spend more time looking forward to the age when they wipe their own bums, read on their own, and are content to play and build together for hours--then I do enjoying these moments in our day.

That time will come, but they are only little once, and that time is now.

Now is the time of sticky hands reaching towards me, the ongoing 'Mama, Mama, Mama' calls. Now is the sloppy kisses, the finger, elbow, or knee offered up in suffering--"Can you kiss it, Mommy?" Now are the days of them begging to play, "Mommy, I have great idea!" Now are the days of snuggles and hugs, sweet little arms wrapped around my neck. Now are the questions...soooo many questions, of learning, discovery, and curiosity.

Now is the time to play.

The past weeks have been full of this choice, and as I've thought about it, I've realized that the worn looking knees that are developing in all my jeans aren't such a bad thing.

It's mean I'm playing--horsey, trains, hot wheels, chase, hide-and-go-seek, ninja turtles. It means I'm letting go of "I don't want to get my nice jeans dirty". It means that I didn't put off the kids any longer with "In a minute, just let me finish...." It means joy in participating rather than just watching.

In fact, the worn looking knees are actually becoming quite beautiful to me. Someday my closet will be full of clean and pristine pants again, but for now, I choose to play.

Every day is not always fun, and the days of play often feel very long. However, I notice the more I choose to play, actively and completely engaged, the more fun it is--and for that I am thankful.

Regardless of how I feel in the moment about playing, I will never be tired or bored of looking at these sweet, beautiful faces!