Cherished

Written Thursday, August 15th:
Last night, Andrew and I got to go on a date in the city. We shared a very simple, very delicious picnic in a park that brought us back to our dating years, went to see a movie, and stopped for ice cream (and coffee for Andrew) on the way home. Being the good wife that I am, I napped pretty much the entire hour of the car ride home. :)  It was a wonderful evening.

Anyway, it was late when we got home.  We went to sleep around midnight (veeery late for us these days), and woke up to Isaiah coughing and crying at 1:30am.  The sound was terrible.  He would cough, cry, and then his breath in was this awful wheezing, strained, constricted noise.  Followed by a scared cry, more awful breaths in, more coughing, etc.  He got the cold that we did last week, and just in the last couple days it moved a bit into his lungs, but this sounded really bad.  Andrew went to Isaiah's room and picked him up, and the poor little guy just draped against him, arms around Andrew's neck, breathing these little wheezing breaths.

Breathing troubles are scary.  Very scary.  We don't even know how much so, as he doesn't even have asthma or anything chronic like that, but a few months ago there was a week of about the same as last night (following this terrible cold that went around), and then again last night. Isaiah calmed down quickly, but still couldn't sleep.

Two and a half hours later....

4 AM. Finally, he was asleep, and stayed asleep until morning came--after much back rubbing, singing, water, and the like.

During those 2 1/2 hours (on which we were operating on 1 1/2 hrs of sleep), we both thought about many things.  Should we take him in to the hospital? (Closest one is 45 minutes away, would most likely have to wait up to several hours to be seen unless his breathing was super bad at resting level....welcome to health care in Quebec.)  Should we take him in to the Children's Hospital in Montreal? (1 hr 15 minutes away, would probably be seen sooner.) Or do we just wait it out until morning since he seems to be not so bad when he's relaxed?

In the alternating shifts of singing/rubbing we took last night, I was reminded of how precious and delicate life is.  Of what an incredible gift Isaiah is to us.  Of how much I cherish each little part of his body and personhood.  Of how I would do anything for him.  Of how blessed we are to get to take care of him. Of how much he is in God's care.

And as I prayed over my sweet little boy, while singing yet another verse of Amazing Grace, I remembered how utterly dependent we are on the Lord for each breath - literally.

There have been other nights like this one, where he just wouldn't sleep for 1-3 hours in the middle night, and those nights we are usually frustrated because nothing seems to be wrong, and we are very tired.  This night though, there was no frustration (ok, except for a couple minutes when I really needed to empty my bladder, which pregnancy has reduced to the size of an almond)--just a desire for him to be healthy, comfortable, and to get the rest he very much needs.

Parenthood is not an easy road, but oh, it is such a blessing to be apart of this precious child's life.

Now, a couple days later, he has been sleeping much better each night, and is improving each day. Whew.

We love you, little buddy.  You are so dear to us.

When One Becomes Two

Here I am, 33 weeks pregnant.  Let's face it - the romanticism of pregnancy is long gone, and has been replaced with poor sleep, almost constant tiredness (from the poor sleep), achy limbs, the beginning of swollen feet, shortness of breath, and a general discomfort within my entire body.  I am confident that I am not alone in these symptoms--that a large portion of other pregnant women in their 3rd trimester can say all this and more.

This has been a pretty miserable week to be pregnant.  I am on day 6 of a cold.  Now, I have had many colds that have been much, much worse than this one.  However, this little virus has sapped what small amount of energy, motivation, and will to do anything that I have managed to retain during this 3rd trimester. It has left me day dreaming of resting at almost all hours of the day ( I say day dream, because who has time to rest when there is a 19 month old to play with and work to be done?).  It has left me wondering how in the world am I going to manage a newborn and a toddler at the same time, when I'm so tired I can barely see straight.

*****INSERT PAUSE****

That was yesterday.  I realized at that moment that Isaiah was sleeping, and I needed to be too.  My 20 minute doze helped substantially to make it through the rest of the day.

Today, I feel better. Wahoo!  The cold is on the way out, I am happy to say.  I will not continue my pregnancy lament, though the symptoms of advanced pregnancy are no less true than they were yesterday! Haha.

But really, this coming baby is on my mind. Constantly.  And the closer his arrival is, the more I really do wonder what life is going to be like with two.  How will it work?  How will I take care of both, (and hopefully well), when some days one child seems almost too much?

The other thing I think about is activities for Isaiah.  Where we live, the winters are long and cold, and we have a teeny little house for him to be in the bulk of the time. This winter I am looking at how to have a newborn and an active toddler in our house for several months.  He's at an age where I feel I should be doing plenty of learning activities with him, but this also poses a challenge to me.

I am not a kid person. Being around kids wears me out, and I usually do not enjoy playing with them. Obviously I love Isaiah tremendously, and I have realized how great it is to love the child I am with all the time, because I do find true joy in watching him discover, learn, and try new things.  It has been a wonderful gift to discover in parenthood.

Anyway, I'm convinced I should be doing all kinds of crafts, activities, and the like with him, and the older he gets, the more of this type thing we should do.  This is where my mind starts spinning--and not with ideas! The words CRAFTS and ACTIVITIES fill me with trepidation and a huge sense of being overwhelmed -- they are so far from my comfort zone I literally have no idea where to begin.  I have spent more than a couple hours researching appropriate learning activities, and I have a couple books on it too, but it seems so difficult to actually put something together.

So please, by all means, if you have any simple learning activities you have done with small children (18-24 months), I would love to hear them!

I know it will all be ok.  I know that Isaiah will not suffer intellectually *too much*  if I do not figure out the perfect age appropriate learning activities to do with him.  I know, *somewhere inside me*, that not being a kid loving, crafty person does not make me a bad mommy.  I also know that the Lord will equip me for the task that He has set before me--raising two children.

I believe that.

And I cling to that promise.

In all that, summer continues, and Isaiah remains crazy cute as usual!  Here are some pictures of our fun:

Fun in the kiddy pool!

What to do when it's 90F at 8am? Have some naked water fun on the porch!  

Isaiah loves to brush his teeth.  All 14 1/2 of them.

His rainsuit always makes me giggle. Always.  :)