Tick-tock goes the clock

                                                In a few days, Isaiah will be 10 months old.

WHAT!?!?!?!

Yeah, I have no idea how that happened. Ten months, or 5/6th of an entire year, seems like a long time. Usually there is a lot that happens in life in ten months, with activities, relationships, projects, learning, etc.  For these ten months, I feel like practically nothing has happened....except my baby. It's true that the childbirth/infant/new mommyhood induced fog only started to lift by April; by June & July I felt like I had a good amount of energy again, and the last couple months of fall I've felt 'normal'--so really, the first half of this year was buried in mommyhood.

Does this 'fog' happen to any other mothers? Or maybe it's just with the first baby?  I remember the first couple weeks of January (since they were marked by having company), literally TWO (and only two) things off the top of my head about the entire month of February, and nothing really comes to mind about March...though I suppose if I looked back at the calendar I could remember some stuff.

What do I remember about the past 10 months?  The important stuff, of course. :)

I remember Isaiah's first car ride home - he slept the whole way. His first real bath, which he loved. Holding him for hours in the wee hours of the night until he fell asleep in those exhausting first weeks. Snow-shoeing for 1 and 1/2 hours with some other staff ladies, with him, at 8 weeks old, in the Mama Kangaroo wrap, feeling so glad to get out of the house and have some fellowship. (Yay! Another memory from February! Haha.)  Going for walks with him in the MamaK, so frustrated that he just. wouldn't. nap.  Trying to take him on a walk in the stroller over the trails here in May just for fun...(bad idea--our stroller was not built for cross-country terrain!)  The first time he rolled over.  His first two teeth coming in.  The first time he sat up in his crib.  The day he ate his first meal of 'solid' food.  The first time he started 'singing' with me during our music time. I remember the days where I could put him on his play mat and he couldn't move....(now, he's into everything, and he's fast!).  I remember a million other 'Isaiah' moments that I will cherish forever.

I also remember overcoming the uncertainty, fear, and anxiety of becoming a mother.  I remember how quickly my love for Isaiah grew, until I realized I didn't even know that I could love so deeply or so strongly.

It's been the most wonderful, most exhausting, most challenging, and most rewarding 10 months of my life.

Here are some pictures from our past month.  Though this stage has its challenges since he is so mobile, it's fun because he has so much personality!

Leaf Exploration

Being cute

Super crawler in flannel!

What could be better than pre-bath snuggles with a bare-skinned baby? Not much!!!

Happy Boy!  He loved the axe Andrew made him for Capernwray's SuperHero night!

Love, Love, LOVE this boy!  We can't get enough of this sweetie pie.

Family

I was struck this weekend by how much we've grown together as a family these last several months.

It was just Andrew and I for so long (married 5 1/2 years, a couple for 9 years), that when Isaiah joined us it felt....weird.  A good weird--for the most part--but there were days, early on, when it was hard not to feel a little bit of resentment and disappointment that we weren't free to do as we pleased any longer.  Suddenly we were tied down by this tiny new person that we didn't really know, but with whom we were totally consumed by all the time.

I remember the first time we were in church with Isaiah, who was 2 weeks old.  It was during the worship time, and in the background I heard a baby crying softly.  I just tuned it out for a few seconds, since there are lots of children at our church.  Andrew nudged me - "Lisa!"  I looked down at my feet (where Isaiah was crying in the carseat), and jumped a little.  Oh!  That's our baby!  I had totally forgotten--for like a couple minutes--that we even had a baby.   

There have been many surreal moments like that since Isaiah's birth, times where I've seen his picture, or looked at him playing on the floor, and thought, "Woah, that's our kid. When did that happen?!"  Through those moments have also come tears (from us both!) of frustration, joy, exhaustion, wonder, and, ultimately, gratitude at the gift we have in learning to be Isaiah's parents.

I don't forget any more that we have a baby. Our family is no longer made up of two--we are three. I first realized this in the past 2 or 3 months--that the pictures of just Andrew and I together now look incomplete because they are missing Isaiah.

So we went this weekend, as a family, to a popular ski/tourist area in Quebec called Mont Tremblant, to see the fall colors (which are spectacular here right now).  All the new Bible school students were going, plus almost all the staff, so we especially wanted to go so we could hang out and connect with the students.

**Enter parenthood.**

We all arrived together, took a group photo, and then I needed to feed Isaiah before we walked up to the village/mountain.  We were about 15 minutes behind everyone (close to 30 people), and figured we'd just see them around.  Well, we saw 4 students for a minute when we were got there, and no one else we knew the whole day.  The WHOLE day.  This was obviously disappointing since spending time with the new students was one of the top reasons we had come.

However, Isaiah was quite content in the ErgoBaby carrier (love it!), and, with so much to see, didn't fall alseep the whole time we were there. It was a beautiful day, and we spent time walking up the mountain a ways, through the shops in the village, and also enjoyed a wonderful picnic in the sunshine.

 It was a relaxing family day.

Mid-afternoon arrived, and since it had been hours since Isaiah has slept, we realized it would be best for him for us to head home. We had kind of been holding out...waiting to meet up with people...but as we made the decision to leave I was content--totally willing, pleased, and content to do what was best for our baby. It didn't really matter that we were a little disappointed with the day, or how it played out.  It didn't really matter that in the past we would have been able to hike up the mountain with all the students, stayed the whole day, and gone out to supper with them.

It didn't matter because Isaiah is worth it. Completely and utterly worth it.  And I was proud of how far we've come as parents--together.