Onward

The life of this mommy has been full of ups and downs the last few weeks - I hope for all our sake's it will begin to level out soon. Last week was pretty awful. I thought about writing during it, but couldn't get past it sounding like one big poor-me fest. I tried, even in the midst of it, to figure out if my feelings were valid or if I were dramatizing the whole situation. I felt terribly lonely, and so alone, forgotten, and not needed in this place. Everything has changed about our life, and I find it hard sometimes to not be a little bit bitter that I am one whose world has most been turned around. I need to be careful. Bitterness and resentment are terribly easy to grow, and awfully hard to kill.

After a whole bunch of tears that weren't totally warranted, I also realized that I just need to take this mommy business easy. All these parenting books I've been reading make me feel pressure to do everything just right so Isaiah will grow and develop optimally. But you know what? Sometimes the best thing for him (and me) is just some good snuggle time...it makes everything so much better!

Isaiah is 7 weeks old today....I think part of the troubles we were having corresponded with his 6 week growth spurt? Ah well. It's a new week, and a good one! He has consistently been going to bed around 9pm, with a wake-up to eat around 3-4am, then back to bed until 7am or so. We are starting to get a decent amount of sleep again, with much less stress at bedtimes then for the first 5 weeks of his life! It's definitely a blessing.

I captured some of his big-dimple grins...I will try to post them up when our Internet isn't being so slow. :)

Milk Breath

I have an absolutely adorable son. I know, I know, I'm biased. But that doesn't make it any less true! A few things I particularly enjoy:

-His eyelashes. They're long, dark, feathery, and so beautiful.

-The way he squeezes his eyes shut and purses his lips tightly together when I ask him if he wants any more when I'm nursing him.

-The little 'ruffle' of hair he has all along the back of his ears. I assume (and hope, ha!) that it will fall out eventually, but now it's super cute.

-His hands. One of the ladies on staff commented how big they were when she first saw him (at 2 days old), but I still thought they were tiny. Not any more- he's growing some big strong hands!

-His breath. I'm particularly obsessed with his breath, which Andrew finds amusing. It smells sweet, with a hint of slightly soured milk. I love to smell it when he's sleeping in my arms, with his head back, mouth open--so peaceful and relaxed. To me it signifies his sweet, young, innocence, and I find it beautiful.