Dreaming of Dreamland

When you're a parent, the value of sleep is taken to a whole new level.  It is certainly not something to be taken for granted.  After all, when you're responsible for a small babe, a good night's sleep--or any sleep at all-- is not guaranteed.

Not getting sleep is actually one of biggest things I was worried about before becoming a mom.  I've always been the type of person that doesn't function well if I don't get 7.5-8 hours of sleep every night.  I could maybe handle it for a couple days, but more than that and it wasn't a pretty picture.

Well, my baby experience started at 10:30pm at night, which of course meant that I got to labor through the night and through much of the next day.  By the time Isaiah came, we (Andrew stayed with me all the way!) had been up for 33 hours.  By the time sleeping was a possibility, I was way too wired to doze, though my mom, Andrew, and Isaiah took a nice little nap in the late afternoon.  I think I finally took a small nap around 7 or 8pm that evening.Whew.

It was the second night at home (so Isaiah was about 4-5 days old), and as Andrew and I were going to bed around 9:30, I started to get a little bit hysterical as I thought about the fact that it could be MONTHS before I got to sleep through the whole night. I was just SO tired, I couldn't handle the thought of what could be my reality. It was a bad moment for me.

But, we have survived.  After the initial first few weeks, Isaiah became a pretty good night sleeper, up at maximum 2x a night to eat, and then by 3 months ( I think), up only once a night to eat.  I know I am blessed - many other moms I know have not had this same experience, and it has been a much longer, more exhausting first several months for them.

Still, broken-up sleep is vastly different than continuous sleep in how rested a body feels in the morning, and I have been tired for much of the year 2012.

You know what I have learned the most in regards to sleep?

The Lord sustains me.

Maybe that should be bigger....it is too important to pass over.

The Lord sustains me.

He has and He will continue to sustain me, because He is a faithful God.  And guess what?  He will sustain you as well.  In the wee hours of the morn, the late hours of the night, in the dragging hours of the afternoon until hubby comes home from work....the Lord sustains us through it all.

I used to pray desperately for enough energy to get through the day, and I've realized that in my head what I really wanted was a huge burst of energy that would last all day so that I didn't even feel tired.  Then as night fell and I crawled into bed,  I would think back and be disappointed that the Lord didn't answer my prayer.

Sometimes I'm a little slow to get things, but after several months I have finally recognized that each day the Lord has indeed answered my pleas. He HAS given me enough energy to get through each day, though not in the huge, bountiful, bunch of energy I wanted. Instead, He has met me in each hour, each minute of exhaustion when I don't think I can carry on....there He is, faithful to provide me with the strength to keep going.

The last several weeks have actually contained several blissful nights of long, continuous sleep as Isaiah is (mostly) sleeping through the night now (yay!), so Andrew and I have been feeling quite well rested. Last week was rough for us though, as Isaiah was up in the middle of the night for considerable lengths of time, for no known reasons. I also heard from a few moms, with new and not-so-new babies, who are going through a lot of sleep deprivation, and all the memories of those days...months...came rushing back.

Sleep is valuable, and it is precious, and with a baby it is not guaranteed. Through those hard days I am so thankful to have learned so much more about the faithfulness of my Saviour--He is enough for me each day.

Here are a few pictures of who causes my lost sleep--he is soooo worth it! :)

Super diaper Baby!

Fun in the tub!

"Who, me?! I have no idea how this mess happened, Mommy!"

Isaiah LOVES to swing!

Reading books on a Sunday afternoon with Daddy

Standing all by himself!

Hope this Sunday is restful to you, both in body and in soul!

Burrito Boy

I love burritos. I love burritos alot. You can wrap just about anything in a tortilla, grill it or heat it up so the cheese gets melted and gooey, and it is delicious.  Especially the classic preparation - refried beans, cheddar cheese, salsa and sour cream. There are few things on this earth more delicious than the combination of salsa and sour cream!!  I spent about 5 years of my later childhood eating two homemade bean and cheese burritos for lunch every day. When I got to university, it turned into eating nachos almost everyday, with beans, cheese, sour cream and salsa. (Maybe not the healthiest, but still, practically every food group is represented!)

Well, I thought I should pass on this love to my son.  The last few days he's been having his first taste of black beans.   He already eats cheese (and loves it, just like his mom).

So I got a little adventurous, and decided Isaiah should have something delicious too.

Yesterday, Isaiah had his first mini black bean and cheese burrito. YUM!  He ate every piece and was looking for more. I was so proud. :)

It fits, this new found love of his for burritos, because we've been calling him our little burrito baby, or burrito boy, since he was a couple weeks old.  Andrew's parents were visiting, and as he was being held, all swaddled up tight, Andrew's mom said, "He looks like a little burrito!"  Well, it stuck, and every night after bathtime we wrap him in his towel, our little Burrito Boy.

While I don't have a picture of that original 'burrito' moment, here is Uncle JJ holding Isaiah at 2 weeks

I thought I'd leave you all with a fun face that I see more and more.... He is standing on everything, and is especially fond of clinging to my legs while I try to do something in the kitchen.  This is the "Mommy, please-pick-me-up face".  I try not to laugh....

"But Mommy, I need you!"

Oh, the adventures that are to come as he grows up.

What fun!

Tick-tock goes the clock

                                                In a few days, Isaiah will be 10 months old.

WHAT!?!?!?!

Yeah, I have no idea how that happened. Ten months, or 5/6th of an entire year, seems like a long time. Usually there is a lot that happens in life in ten months, with activities, relationships, projects, learning, etc.  For these ten months, I feel like practically nothing has happened....except my baby. It's true that the childbirth/infant/new mommyhood induced fog only started to lift by April; by June & July I felt like I had a good amount of energy again, and the last couple months of fall I've felt 'normal'--so really, the first half of this year was buried in mommyhood.

Does this 'fog' happen to any other mothers? Or maybe it's just with the first baby?  I remember the first couple weeks of January (since they were marked by having company), literally TWO (and only two) things off the top of my head about the entire month of February, and nothing really comes to mind about March...though I suppose if I looked back at the calendar I could remember some stuff.

What do I remember about the past 10 months?  The important stuff, of course. :)

I remember Isaiah's first car ride home - he slept the whole way. His first real bath, which he loved. Holding him for hours in the wee hours of the night until he fell asleep in those exhausting first weeks. Snow-shoeing for 1 and 1/2 hours with some other staff ladies, with him, at 8 weeks old, in the Mama Kangaroo wrap, feeling so glad to get out of the house and have some fellowship. (Yay! Another memory from February! Haha.)  Going for walks with him in the MamaK, so frustrated that he just. wouldn't. nap.  Trying to take him on a walk in the stroller over the trails here in May just for fun...(bad idea--our stroller was not built for cross-country terrain!)  The first time he rolled over.  His first two teeth coming in.  The first time he sat up in his crib.  The day he ate his first meal of 'solid' food.  The first time he started 'singing' with me during our music time. I remember the days where I could put him on his play mat and he couldn't move....(now, he's into everything, and he's fast!).  I remember a million other 'Isaiah' moments that I will cherish forever.

I also remember overcoming the uncertainty, fear, and anxiety of becoming a mother.  I remember how quickly my love for Isaiah grew, until I realized I didn't even know that I could love so deeply or so strongly.

It's been the most wonderful, most exhausting, most challenging, and most rewarding 10 months of my life.

Here are some pictures from our past month.  Though this stage has its challenges since he is so mobile, it's fun because he has so much personality!

Leaf Exploration

Being cute

Super crawler in flannel!

What could be better than pre-bath snuggles with a bare-skinned baby? Not much!!!

Happy Boy!  He loved the axe Andrew made him for Capernwray's SuperHero night!

Love, Love, LOVE this boy!  We can't get enough of this sweetie pie.

Family

I was struck this weekend by how much we've grown together as a family these last several months.

It was just Andrew and I for so long (married 5 1/2 years, a couple for 9 years), that when Isaiah joined us it felt....weird.  A good weird--for the most part--but there were days, early on, when it was hard not to feel a little bit of resentment and disappointment that we weren't free to do as we pleased any longer.  Suddenly we were tied down by this tiny new person that we didn't really know, but with whom we were totally consumed by all the time.

I remember the first time we were in church with Isaiah, who was 2 weeks old.  It was during the worship time, and in the background I heard a baby crying softly.  I just tuned it out for a few seconds, since there are lots of children at our church.  Andrew nudged me - "Lisa!"  I looked down at my feet (where Isaiah was crying in the carseat), and jumped a little.  Oh!  That's our baby!  I had totally forgotten--for like a couple minutes--that we even had a baby.   

There have been many surreal moments like that since Isaiah's birth, times where I've seen his picture, or looked at him playing on the floor, and thought, "Woah, that's our kid. When did that happen?!"  Through those moments have also come tears (from us both!) of frustration, joy, exhaustion, wonder, and, ultimately, gratitude at the gift we have in learning to be Isaiah's parents.

I don't forget any more that we have a baby. Our family is no longer made up of two--we are three. I first realized this in the past 2 or 3 months--that the pictures of just Andrew and I together now look incomplete because they are missing Isaiah.

So we went this weekend, as a family, to a popular ski/tourist area in Quebec called Mont Tremblant, to see the fall colors (which are spectacular here right now).  All the new Bible school students were going, plus almost all the staff, so we especially wanted to go so we could hang out and connect with the students.

**Enter parenthood.**

We all arrived together, took a group photo, and then I needed to feed Isaiah before we walked up to the village/mountain.  We were about 15 minutes behind everyone (close to 30 people), and figured we'd just see them around.  Well, we saw 4 students for a minute when we were got there, and no one else we knew the whole day.  The WHOLE day.  This was obviously disappointing since spending time with the new students was one of the top reasons we had come.

However, Isaiah was quite content in the ErgoBaby carrier (love it!), and, with so much to see, didn't fall alseep the whole time we were there. It was a beautiful day, and we spent time walking up the mountain a ways, through the shops in the village, and also enjoyed a wonderful picnic in the sunshine.

 It was a relaxing family day.

Mid-afternoon arrived, and since it had been hours since Isaiah has slept, we realized it would be best for him for us to head home. We had kind of been holding out...waiting to meet up with people...but as we made the decision to leave I was content--totally willing, pleased, and content to do what was best for our baby. It didn't really matter that we were a little disappointed with the day, or how it played out.  It didn't really matter that in the past we would have been able to hike up the mountain with all the students, stayed the whole day, and gone out to supper with them.

It didn't matter because Isaiah is worth it. Completely and utterly worth it.  And I was proud of how far we've come as parents--together.

The month of '3's

This has been a BUSY month for us, as we've gotten to watch couple after couple walk down the aisle and say "I Do".  Three weddings in three weeks, with three couples who have met at Capernwray during our three years here!  The first wedding was 2 hours away, the second wedding was 8 hours away, and the third wedding was 3 hours away.   It was a lot of driving (which ends up being pretty exhausting with a little one who wouldn't sleep much!), but we were super glad we were able to go to all three.  For the 2nd wedding, which was in Massachusetts,  I was overseeing all the food for the reception, which meant Andrew got to spend lots of time with Isaiah for a few days while I cooked and prepared for the big day.  It was a fun week!

At the 4th wedding - a total pro by now...in an Isaiah-sized chair!
(photo by Vanessa Siemens)

Isaiah was a champ in putting up with the travel, lack of good routine, poor sleep, and tons of new people everywhere. And, of course, he was cute, cute, cute through it all. It's taken a while to recover, but we think he is finally getting rested up and back on a normal schedule.  One night last week he even went to bed at 6pm! The earliest yet...but he slept until about 6:45 the next morning, with a quick snack and back to bed around 4am, so it seems like he needed the rest.

He is now 8 1/2 months.  This last week he has had three distinct leaps of learning, so I wanted to share them.

Happy in the Ergo!

  #1: Crawling.  Yes, he is crawling!  He's been army crawling for weeks, but in the past week he had made a big progression to up on his hands and knees, even on the slippery laminate floor throughout our house.  He likes to boogy around quickly, and is making huge messes everywhere he goes.

  #2: Sippy Cup.  He sucks! (As a verb, not an adjective, ha!) Since 4-5 days he has figured out how to suck, swallow, suck, swallow, without taking his mouth off of the spout.  He had gotten really good out of drinking from a cup (as he wasn't getting much water from the sippy, we gave him a cup after meals), but it is super exciting to see him progress with the sippy! Especially since he doesn't know how to drink from a bottle. So, I recommend the Avent sippy cup to start...it's the 4th kind we bought, and the one that he figured it out on.

  #3: Obedience.   This is a big one for us!  With him being able to move around so well the last couple weeks doing his army crawl, he has started getting into everything.  The trashes, bookcases, kitty food & water bowls, wires, plugs, shoes, etc etc.  We have baby-proofed a bit, but we also wanted to teach him that some thing are just off limits for Isaiah. The item that he grabs we tap and say "No, Not for Isaiah", while removing his hand from the item.
   Over and over again he reaches, and over and over again we take his hand away and say, "No, not for Isaiah".  Eventually he would turn away and start crawling somewhere else...but of course, those items also became very fascinating for him as well. :)   In the last week he has started to obey when we say "Not for Isaiah", even when we're across the room and he has his hand out to grab it!  He will put his hand down, and crawl away from it--no fuss, no protest--just matter-of-factly obeying Mommy or Daddy.   Wow, it's like a miracle.   He has willingly abandoned the kitty bowls (which were put away into the bathroom because they were extra tempting and extra yucky), the candles with lids on the bookcase, and the kitchen trash.  I feel so proud of him each time. 

On another note, his fifth tooth just broke through today, the one left of his two front teeth. The one to the right of his two front teeth is just there below the surface, a white nub. I am still surprised at how fast he has gotten his teeth!  In this midst of all this learning came another new thing which was NOT fun...he bit me twice yesterday while nursing, and twice today.  Lightly each time, experimentally, like he was playing.   It is not a fun game.  I am now vigilantly on the lookout - so much for a few minutes to relax!  Hopefully he will not continue....he needs to find something else to try all his teeth on - not on Mommy!

**Well, it's been a few days since I wrote the previous paragraphs, I guess that's what happens when you have a small child!**

He now has six teeth!  Yup, they come quick, without much bother.  He also has not bitten me again - I keep nursing all business and no play now.

 Also, in other news,  the last 3 out of 5 nights he has slept through the night (about 6:45pm-6:30 am). Yippee!  I have really been praying that he would do it on his own without us needing to 'help' him stop waking up to nurse in the early morning hours.  It's exciting to think that more sleep will be our way soon, on a more permanent basis. :)

He is such a joy, and I am so thankful each day that God is letting us taking care of this beautiful, precious life.

Super crawler!
(And thanks Aunt Michelle for the cute pullover and pants set!)
(photo by Vanessa Siemens)

Milk from Mommy

Disclaimer:
Hello! If you are of the male gender, consider this a fair warning--this entire post is about breastfeeding. Due to the very subject matter, if you have not previously had a child or had a wife who breastfed, you may feel awkward reading this.  As my husband recommended....check the weather forecast instead and check here again in a couple weeks for my next post! :)

Breastfeeding.  Obviously, God designed women to feed their babies - we were made to breastfeed our children.  How hard could it be, right? That was my primary thought about nursing Isaiah in my pre-nursing days.

Well, it can be hard--very hard--but also so very rewarding!  As time goes on, I wanted to document the ups and downs of my experience with breastfeeding, so that I can remember.  Otherwise, I'm sure in another five years you might hear me say,  "Oh yeah, it was a little tough in the beginning, but other than that, I think it was pretty easy!" My, how our memories fade...

First of all, it is amazing at how God created women and their milk.  A baby is miraculously formed within us, and as soon as he is born, the mom's body produces colostrum, thick, sweet, and packed full of the nutrients the tiny infant needs.  Then, the milk comes in.  Complete nutrition, at the perfect temperature,and over time, produced in the quantity that the baby demands. We, as women, do basically NOTHING for all of this to happen, but it does, and it's beautiful.

Now, I also know that there are complications. We are imperfect humans, and our bodies are imperfect too. It doesn't always work for every woman to breastfeed their baby, for many and varied reasons. I want to acknowledge that - because it certainly doesn't mean a mother loves her baby any less if she doesn't breastfeed!!!!

I've mentioned in past posts a little bit about the difficulties I had at the beginning.  My milk came in fine, but nursing was extremely painful for the first 3 weeks, and then just plain painful for another 2 weeks, and then uncomfortable-painful until week 8.  The other day (and 7 months of nursing under my belt later), I was thinking about those first three weeks.   Three weeks usually goes by in a flash - hardly any time at all - but in the midst of those three weeks it seems like an incredibly long time, and I wondered how I could ever survive it.  But God is so faithful, and I definitely felt Him strengthen me during that time.

After the initial (and steep) learning curve was over, it got lots better. I mean, I did wonder if I would ever be able to nap, sleep, or get a massage laying on my stomach again, or if I could ever exercise comfortably again, or if I would ever be able to sleep in comfort through the night when my son did.  Thankfully, those things have all come with time. And in the midst of it all, nursing Isaiah became a pretty easy part of our routine.

Our Logistics:
Birth-3 months:  Isaiah nursed about 30 minutes total - 40 minutes was a long session .  There were several weeks of fussing in there, after week 8...which I think were really helped by the chiropractic work he received. He nursed 7-9x a day in his first 3 months of life, on average.

3 months- 4 months.  He was nursing about 7x a day consistently, for 15-20 minutes each feeding. As far as I remember things were going ok.  All was good throughout with my milk production and such.

THEN....it was the middle/end of April, and I was really thrown for a loop.  All of a sudden, he would start crying/screaming after just a few minutes of nursing.  I would try again and again to get him--who was squirming and crying--to latch on again...and again...and again.  Then we would walk around, I would try to calm him, and we would try some more. Sometimes it would take 45 minutes-1 hr just to get him to drink for 10 minutes.  It was very frustrating because I couldn't figure out what was the matter, and also exhausting. Not fun.  After a week (or two??) of this happening fairly regularly, I decided to try a new approach - let him nurse however long while he happy, and then if he fussed, try to put him back on once, but no more. (Ok, yes, this took me a little while to figure out that this approach might be a better idea!)

It worked!  And suddenly he was nursing for 4-6 minutes total (6 if I was lucky!), still content to eat every 3 hours, as normal, and happy as a clam.  Finally in all my reading on-line I read some accounts that many babies get much faster and more efficient nursing around 3-4 months.Oooooh. Finally it made sense! I still worried that he wasn't getting enough ( I mean, 4 minutes, really?!?!), but he seemed totally fine, so I just let it go.

5 months - Present.  He lengthened out his nursing time to a whole whopping 8-10 minutes a feeding, where it has remained for the past 2 1/2 or 3 months.  I'm quite content with that- it's short enough that it's nice if we're in a hurry, but long enough that I feel like he's actually getting enough to eat.  We are *just* in the middle of going to a 4-hour feeding schedule during the day, which will bring it down to nursing 5x in a 24hr  day.  I am also slowly decreasing how much I let him eat in the early AM (4 or 5am) feed, in hopes of dropping it altogether soon.

Isaiah also got his first two teeth at 5 1/2 months.  His upper left tooth came in last week, and the second upper one is right at the surface.  Thankfully, he has never even tried to bite me. I do remain on alert though!

                             

                                      Reading books...and his new cheesy grin!  We call this his 'cheeseball' smile! 

Things I've enjoyed about breastfeeding:
-The time to sit. In the first couple weeks I figured out I was nursing about 6 hours a day.  That's a looong time, but I didn't exactly feel up for much, so it was rather nice.  Throughout the months, it's usually a nice break to stop and rest, especially on busy days, even though now it's just for 10 minutes at a time.

-The time to stare at my beautiful baby.  I know some moms read, watch TV, or talk on the phone.  Before giving birth, I was reading through a book on breastfeeding, and it encouraged the mom to take that time nursing and just be with her baby.  So I did.  I talked to him, prayed for him, examined his fingers and toes and kissed them, and spent many hours staring at his beautiful features and long feathery eyelashes.  After about 4 weeks,  I did start to get a little bit bored with all that time in his room, by myself, so there was a week where I started calling my mom or friends to talk, and I watched a couple movies while I nursed.  It didn't take long before I felt bad at how little attention I paid to him then, and I realized I actually really missed the quiet time with him.  So I stopped doing those things.

Around 4 months or so, he started to get so distracted by everything, and I had to become a much more active participant in his feeding.  I couldn't speak, cough, or move too much.  To this day, Andrew also can't make noise in the house, come into the room, or talk to me at all - otherwise, it's game over.  Feeding session is usually DONE...even if Isaiah just started! There have been some days where he rips (yes, rips) on and off with great fervor--to look at a shadow, the curtain, a stuffed animal, when there's a noise outside, at my earring...pretty much anything and everything.  Of course, then with just as much fervor he will turn back towards me, pull himself close by clutching my shirt with both hands, and chow down.  Those days I can't help but laugh--he is so funny!

-The convenience.   Well, haha, it actually can be quite inconvenient at times, especially because he hasn't taken a bottle since the 3rd month of his life.  But, aside from those times, it is nice to be able to grab him and go, without worrying about packing bottles and formula and the like.

-The ability to comfort:  For his whole life we've worked hard to get him to sleep well in his crib, so we've very rarely held him while he slept.  There are definite pros and cons to this.  The great thing is he loves to sleep in his crib.We are able to place him in his crib fully awake, and he goes down for naps and bed usually without a peep. The cons is that he has a very hard time falling asleep on us.  That means when we're out and about all day, or taking a plane trip, he can get quite cranky because he doesn't know how to fall alseep with  all the distractions around him.  He also refuses a pacifier now, so whereas before that helped calm him down if he was upset, it doesn't anymore.

 ENTER IN: MOMMY. :)

 So if we need too, I can let him comfort suck to help fall asleep or calm down.  I haven't let him use me as a pacifier very often, but it is a place he finds great comfort when upset, and for that I'm very thankful.

-Aiding in post-pregnancy weight loss:  I mostly add this because it's really supposed to help the weight 'come right off' for women after birth, and in my head I thought it would make it super easy to return to my pre-pregnancy weight.  However, in reality, I think it's actually made it harder for me, because I've read multiple times that a too-reduced calorie diet can really affect how much milk is produced. Therefore, since I've worried about if he's getting enough multiple times, it's hindered my mental ability to cut back on how much I eat. Of course, it also doesn't help that I really enjoy food and eating. :) *sigh*  Still, if I wasn't nursing, I know for myself that I could tough out cutting more calories much easier.

-Watching him develop.  Can we say, "Anticipation"?!  I still remember the first time Isaiah started squealing when he got near me when it was eating time (around 3 months old, maybe?).  I couldn't figure out why the sudden fussiness.  After a couple days of this, I realized that all of a sudden he knew it was time to eat, and that Mommy = Milk. I feel like it was a big step in his cognitive development.  That progressed to whining/squealing in between changing sides while nursing.  Like, "Hey! I'm not done, I'm still hungry!"  And that progressed to my favorite thing - he often smacks his lips together a bit right when I sit down in the rocking chair I nurse him in, or when I pull the Boppy on my lap. It's almost like he's starting to drool, and then he licks his lips to keep the saliva in.  The anticipation of his coming meal is very entertaining to watch!

-The time to observe him: I know I said almost the same thing early, but this is different. Over the months, I have come to love watching him nurse. When he was a couple months old, he would put his open hand on his face--palm flat against his cheek, fingers spread wide open--the whole time he was nursing.  It was adorable.  Then he took to grabbing my shirt and holding on for dear life.  Also very cute.

As he's gotten older, he's gotten more active and acrobatic.  On those distracted days, it seems very hard for him to lay still while he eats.  So he often grabs his top leg with his hands and pulls his foot up by his chin, basically doing a split while lying on his side. One day he kept scratching under his chin with his big toe, and I couldn't stop giggling.  Or, he'll push against the side of the rocker with his feet, kick it every so often, and simultaneously be trying to grab my hair if it's down, or my necklace, or just waving his arm in the air.

My favorite thing to watch he usually only does at night before bed, or if he's very calm, because he usually does it with his eyes closed.  With an open hand he'll rub his head and hair, up on top, down by his neck, and then sometimes momentarily hold onto his ear.....and then keep rubbing. Back and forth, up and down, softly stroking his head.  It's so peaceful, and so precious.

For as difficult as breastfeeding was at the beginning, and with the challenges and frustrations it's caused along the way--I'm so thankful I've been able to do it.  It's taught me so much about my wee little child in the process, and given me precious time every day to observe him, comfort him, and be close to him. That's made it all worth it!

A picture of my two best men this week:

Daddy's hat is still a little too big!

Love.Love.Love.  That's how I feel when I look at my son. :)

Grow, Grow, Grow

The past month or two has been so full of 'new' things happening in Isaiah's life that I wanted to document them a bit so I remember.  It's AMAZING how quickly babies learn new things!  He's now just over 7 months.

SOLIDS/SIPPY CUP:

Lovin' the sweet potatoes!

I started him on solid food ( baby brown rice cereal) about a week before he turned 6 months. After the second bite he was a pro at the open-mouth-for-spoon, close-mouth-around-spoon-to-swallow business.  Next was avocados (he wasn't a huge fan), then sweet potatoes.  I'm making all of my own baby food for him, which has been much easier than anticipated.  I actually keep forgetting that in a pinch I could go get a couple jars of baby food at the store....ha!

Anyway, he now eats the baby rice cereal, oatmeal (ground up from steel-cut oats), avocados, sweet potatoes, pears, green beans, bananas, and plums. There were about two weeks where I didn't introduce anything new because we were travelling/recovering from travelling, and it wasn't until last week I realized - yikes, I really need to get with the program! He doesn't eat much variety for having been eating solids for a month and half already, which is totally my fault.  So far he hasn't had any reactions or digestive problems, and has taken pretty well to each food. He even loved the plums, which are quite tart!  He's not a huge eater though - I think he gets bored with it?

We gave him the sippy cup right away with his solids, because we are excited for him to get the hang of it.  Isaiah hasn't taken a bottle since he was 3 months (this is a story in and of itself), and so that means I have to be around for his every mealtime....which is obviously a bit limiting for my activities.  It wasn't until a couple weeks ago he finally figured out that he could suck it (before, he would mostly chew on it) and something would come out!  He usually chokes a bit on what he gets, but I think we're moving in the right direction.  He is also slightly obsessed with drinking out of cups - he LOVES to drink water from a cup!  It's very cute to watch how tightly he clutches with both hands on a cup to drink.

MOBILITY:

Hands and Knees!

Oh boy, oh boy, am I going to be in trouble soon!  He is MOTIVATED to move.  In his 5th month he started rolling front to back and back to front; in his 6th month, he started doing a bit of an army crawl to the left or right, and also started sitting up on his own.  In the last two weeks, he has started to get up on his hands and knees, rock back and forth (it reminds me of the beginning of a bobsled race, like from Cool Runnings), and then lurch forward after whatever it is he wants to get.  If a toy if too far a way, he will streeeeetch like crazy to get it, wiggle around, do a roll, army crawl, etc....any combo that will help!  I don't think it will be long before he starts crawling!

He also figured out 4 days ago how to sit up by himself.  He has only done it in his crib so far.  He somehow gets his legs underneath him while rolling around, and then walks his hands backwards until he's sitting up.  It's hard to explain...but pretty interesting to watch!  One night around 2 am Andrew went into his room because he was crying, and there he was, on his bum, totally folded in half with his head in-between his feet, and stuck.  Thankfully he hasn't gotten stuck since then.

SLEEP:
Somehow, somewhere, I got this notion in my head before giving birth that basically all babies could, and would, sleep through the night for sure by 3 months. Wow, was I wrong! Isaiah was a good night sleeper from early on, and he still does well.  He goes to bed by 7 or 7:15pm each night, wakes up once (normally) to eat between 3-4am, and then goes back to sleep until 7am.  He's been doing that since he was 3-4 months old.  Which is great, I really can't complain.

At the end of month 5, he was starting to lengthen his early morning feed to 5am, 5:15, 5:30am...and I really thought soon he would be make it all the way to 7am. I'm not quite sure what happened, but we moved backwards to 1:30am, 2am, etc for a while.  THEN, after a solid month of a 3-4am feed, two nights ago he woke up at 5:15am instead.  The next night, he slept from 7:30pm - 6am!  Success!  It felt soooo wonderful to get 7 straight hours of sleep.  We are really hoping it will soon become the 'norm', because from what I've read, by 9 months, babies definitely don't need to eat in the middle of the night any more.  We are looking forward to that day. :)

FUSSINESS:

I took this picture for those who think he never cries...... :)

Isaiah has never been a fussy baby.  He has surprised many with his ability to sit, or be held, and play quietly for up to an hour. He loves to watch what's happening around him, so usually he's been content to just quietly observe what's going on.  (If there's no one to watch or nothing happening, then he does get bored and squirmy.)  Well, the fussiness has been developing the last couple weeks.  Last night he starting whining/screaming for a few minutes...and I had no idea why!  It was very strange for him.  I think he is also in the beginning stages of developing a bit of separation anxiety.

*sigh*

As he gets older, I keep realizing that just when I think I have it all figured out.....there is SO MUCH MUCH TO LEARN!  Andrew calls me a baby-information junkie. :)  I don't think I'm quite there, but babies are so fascinating!  I remain so incredibly thankful that God is letting us be a part of Isaiah's precious life.

Isaiah's favorite toy: a hammer!  Think he'll take after his daddy??! :)

the dreaded IT

Isaiah at 6 1/2 months. He loves to smile!

IT first happened a couple of weeks ago. The dreaded IT.  I knew it was coming, I just didn't expect it so soon (he's not even 7 months old!). But there it was....and in my surprise I chuckled a little because that seemed like a good response to cover over the panic inside me that was rising.

What is IT?   Isaiah's first tantrum or fit of intense displeasure. Yes indeed, IT came. We were reading, and I had to take a book away from him that he grabbed and was trying to eat and rip.  Oooh boy, he did NOT like that.  Instantly a full blown angry wail came out from within, the tears started spurting, and it took almost 10 minutes to calm him down.  Woah. I was so not prepared for that moment!

The incident made me realize something I think I've known all along:  the newborn stage of my baby's life is going to seem like the easy part of being a parent.  That stage is exhausting, but pretty basic--feed, change, soothe, and love on Baby.  It was very overwhelming, especially at first, our new job of keeping a brand new little human ALIVE while bumbling our way through the feeding, changing, and soothing parts of his life (the 'loving on' part is easy!).  Still, it's simple enough.

This next stage scares me to death.  You see, now we are moving into the "Training/Molding/Being Responsible for Baby's Character, Moral, and Spiritual Development" stage.   A lot is at stake in this stage....and I'm terrified we're going to somehow fail along the way, and mess up the most important responsibility we have as Isaiah's parents.

These early months will still be basic in correction, guidance and discipline, but I want to start with our goals in mind, because as Isaiah grows, the consequences of his decisions will only multiply.  After all, it's about so much more than not throwing tantrums when you don't get your way. It's about loving good, not evil.  It's about exercising self-control. It's about choosing good, not bad.  It's about kindness and compassion.  It's about living with integrity. It's about learning to serve instead of expecting to be served.  And most of all, it's about loving Jesus, and letting Him be the Lord of our life.

A lot is at stake. 


Now we just have to figure out our game plan for the upcoming season. Your prayers are appreciated. :)

At my parents' house in South Dakota in July!

At Andrew's parents' house in South Dakota.
It was so great to see our families!

Daddy and Me

This boy loves his daddy!  They do lots of new and fun things together!

Going for a walk

First time on the ATV!

Helping Daddy water the vegetable plants

Lean in for the picture!

First time putting his feet in the pool

First time on the swing

Lately I've been teasing Andrew because we have hundreds of adorable pictures of him and Isaiah, and a mere few of me and Isaiah together.  Guess that's 'cause this mommy is always behind the camera!  But it's ok, because I love watching them together. It's a little late for Father's Day, but I thought I should do a small tribute to this man who is a wonderful husband and daddy. I love you, Andrew!

A Lonely Road

There are many emotions that fill the days of my mommy-hood journey, and one of the these that sneak into the moments of my day is loneliness.

Being a mom often feels like a lonely road.  

I don't tell you that to get sympathy, or pity.  I don't need or want either.  It's just how it feels. I often get asked, "What are you doing today?"  in a casual, nice way. No matter what may come in a day, most of them are pretty much the same - my job is to take care of Isaiah.  Feed, change, play, soothe. Feed, change, play, soothe. Feed, change, play, soothe.  A pattern that repeats itself over, and over, and over.

My job is a privilege.  I know that, and I love it! He's a beautiful gift from the Lord, for which I am beyond thankful.  There is nothing I'd rather do more than to be his mommy.

I look at that sweet smile and wonder, how could I ever be lonely?  He is such a delight.  But there are those moments, as he sleeps, or as I look out my window at the hustle and bustle of those around me, and the feeling is there.

I had always imagined that when I was a mom, and ideally a stay-at-home mom, of life being full with mommy group play days, summer time fun at the park with friends and their little ones, coffee dates, and shopping trips in the mall with strollers and babies. 

Maybe it's my fault at not being intentional enough to find places to plug in with other moms here. Maybe I just need to figure out how to keep a busier pace with a baby.  Or maybe someday it'll happen when we don't live in the middle of the country, or when I can either speak French good enough to hang out with all the French-only moms, or when we live somewhere where people primarily speak English.  Maybe it will happen.


And maybe it's also just an adjustment phase for me.  Before Isaiah, I was working around 50-60 hours a week as the head cook for the Bible School/Conference center where we live and work at.  The kitchen is always a busy place, and I really loved being in the middle of everything that was happening. I loved the adrenaline before each meal of the last minute cooking, plating, and preparing. Now I still work part-time involved with the kitchen, but most of it I do from the quiet of my home, in and around Isaiah's schedule. I missed cooking and being in the kitchen terribly the first few weeks after Isaiah was born, and that desire has lessened as my love of being a mom has grown. :)  But I do still miss it--being part of the action, feeling like I'm more part of the team. 


Ecclesiastes 3:1 says,  "There is a time for everything,  and a season for every activity under the heavens." I guess there is always hard parts of all the seasons in life, and maybe moments of loneliness is part of this one.  


But it's okay.  I see this beautiful face....

....and the moment passes. What a beautiful life I get to witness.

Oh the choices...

Since becoming pregnant last year, there have been many, many choices and decisions Andrew and I have had to make regarding our baby.  When I had imagined being a parent, I had no clue about most of these decisions we'd face. Some of them have been easy, but some of them have been very hard.  I think we've both said the phrase "I don't know what to do..."  more times in the past 8 or 9 months than we have in several years!

Photo by Vanessa Siemens

I wanted to go through these situations - primarily to document them (as my memory of the early months is already quickly fading), and also to maybe highlight some areas of thought for the parents and parents-to-be who might come across this blog.  There are hundreds of other decisions to be made, but the ones listed below are a couple of the decisions and choices we had to make that surprised me, or that I hadn't considered before becoming a parent.

#1:  Labor & Delivery:  A natural birth or with drugs?  L&D is a huge unknown in terms of how it will go for each woman, but you can go into it with well thought-out requests and goals.  At the beginning of my pregnancy, the thought of labor TERRIFIED me.  I would get very anxious thinking about it, and I just assumed  that I would get an epidural.  Well, we happen to be surrounded by women here who have each had several children all naturally.  One of them (she will be probably read this - Hi! :) ) asked me a variant of the above question and gave me several books to read on natural child birth.  Simply becoming much more informed on the birthing process helped calm my nerves substantially.   My desire to have a natural birth developed and bloomed - one, for my baby, so he would have the most 'clean' start of life I could offer him, and two, for me, because I formed this idea that women recover faster from a natural birth...  Of course, there was also the fact that I was quite scared of the epidural needle..... :)
    I realize that epidurals (and now C-sections) are very common place, and most babies/mothers aren't harmed by these interventions - and for some, they are necessary to the health of both!  But no matter your choice, or what happens once the labor begins, I think it's important to do a little research and simply consider the benefits a natural childbirth experience can offer--for you and your baby.  That way you can go into your L&D confident, knowing you're comfortable with what choices you'll make or might need to make during the process.

#2: Circumcision: To circumcise or not circumcise?  Whaaaat?!?! This question was also brought to my attention.  I has previously assumed that basically all little boys were circumcised...?  Once again, I did a little research, and learned it's no longer a 'given' or such a huge trend any more in North America ( as it was a couple decades ago).  There are many reasons people have when deciding to circumcise or not circumcise, but either way, it doesn't appear to affect the boy's long-term health or safety.  Seeing as they would be slicing and dicing my sweet little boy, I decided it was worth pondering.  We were then able to make our choice, not 'just because it's what everyone is doing', but because we had thought through the pros/cons and would do what we thought was best for our child.

#3: Breastfeeding: I always knew I wanted to breastfeed my babies.  For their health and immune systems, to help with my post-pregnancy weight loss, and because it was FREE! And much less hassle than formula and bottles.  Everyone said it could be very difficult, and would be painful at first, but I wasn't too concerned.  After all, this was what we were made to do, right? I skimmed a couple articles and books about breastfeeding beforehand,  but that was about it.  Well, it turns out it wasn't all that easy.  Isaiah seemed to do well - he was growing and was healthy, but me....that was a whole different story.  The first 3 weeks after his birth were far more painful than labor, simply because the pain from nursing was constant, often intense, and there seemed to be no end in sight. The pain was the worst while I fed him, but it almost never went away after and in between.  I quickly became knowledgeable on many aspects of nursing, including the baby's latch, nursing positions, a large list of possible complications/infections and how to treat them, and so on.
   At 4 weeks, I was able to see a lactation consultant.  She was very nice, but I left feeling even more discouraged, because she couldn't find any reason of what could be wrong.  I tried the couple things she suggested, but they didn't help.  Some days the pain was ok to deal with, some days it was nearly intolerable.  I had become an ibprofen junkie--I knew exactly when I could take my next pill, and longed for the time to go faster!  This after rarely taking any medication for cramps, headaches, broken bones, or sickness my entire life.
   By 5 weeks, it still hurt, but much less than the first 3 weeks.  Around the 8th week, I was going to bed one night and noticed that wow, everything feels ok!  By 10 weeks for sure, all the pain was gone totally.  Nursing became much like I had always imagined it would be - a sweet time of closeness to hold and nourish my little baby.
   The point is, it was tough.  There were many times I wondered how long I'd be able to keep it up - 6 months? a year?  How long could I endure the pain?  But, it DID go away, and I'm so thankful I didn't get up.  I'm thankful for all the people who prayed for me. I'm also very thankful to Andrew for his never-ending support, love, and encouragement, and for all the times he shared my tears.  

   I know that breastfeeding doesn't work for everybody, and that not everyone wants to do it, and of course that's totally OK. It's a choice that needs to work for the whole family.  I definitely don't think I would have made it through, sticking it out, if Andrew hadn't been so supportive.   So if you WANT to breastfeed your baby, keep pressing on through the tough first days and weeks.  For us, it has been worth it.

#4: Immunizations:  Ooooh, touchy subject. Yes, I know. You may get tired of hearing this, but I had also assumed that everybody got vaccinated.  Turns out, it's not true.  Shocked?  I was!  I've met several families recently who have chosen not to get their children vaccinated, or at least not on the schedule recommended by the CDC. Naturally, I was very curious to know why--what about the vaccinations would hold them back or lead them to their decision?  I began to hear some arguments against vaccines--their possible dangers/complications/side effects, what they are made up of, and a general concern for the safety of the immunizations in their children.  Hmm.  I had never heard any of these thoughts - only the ones for getting vaccinated.  Isaiah already had his 2 month vaccination appointment scheduled, and as the date drew nearer I got panicky.  What should we do?  Could they really harm him?  Do the benefits outweigh the risks?  
   I didn't know enough about it to feel like I could make the right choice for our baby.  We decided to keep the appointment - but the whole time I was feeling so nervous!  Were we doing the right thing?!?!   Fast forward 2 months - it had been a rough several weeks as Isaiah had developed some extreme fussiness before/during nursing , lots of crying, poor sleep, and we just couldn't figure out why.  We started taking him to a trusted Chiropractor we knew, and she noticed a lot of congestion in his digestive system, some areas where his nervous system was going a bit haywire, and other areas his body was 'stuck'. (This is my translation. :) )  The visits of very gentle adjustments seemed to help him alot, but still didn't make it all better. Then we also realized all these things had started about a week about his 2 months shots, and I was scared that that the two were linked.
   Now it was time for his 4 month shots.  He was just starting to get back to 'normal'....what should we do? We had begun doing LOTS of research on vaccines, (which is extremely overwhelming) and we didn't know what the right choice was.  After all, how many millions of children gets these shots and are fine?  But then again, how many are not fine, and have long-term complications?   Back and forth, back and forth I went.  Believing that vaccines were the right thing to do, for society and for his long-term safety, and yet unsure of if they were safe for him, right now.  My brain was frantic in trying to decide as the day of his appointment drew nearer.
   Finally, a conversation with my mom helped calm me.  She said that either way, I will need to make a choice.  And then, once the choice is made, no matter what it is, I will then need to walk in faith, trusting God to protect him.  And it's totally true.  Isaiah is first and foremost God's child - how much more is he loved by God, his loving Creator, than by us, his parents?  I need to rest in Christ, knowing that He is looking out for Isaiah's well-being on a much greater level than I can ever do.
  1st lesson learned: Isaiah is in God's hands, and in that, I rest.  
  2nd lesson learned (again): Do some research so we can make informed decisions for our children.

#5: Diet:  For many mothers, this can become a point of huge sacrifice for their babies, if they're breastfeeding and their baby is intolerant or allergic to something (dairy, eggs, gluten, etc).  I'm very lucky and thankful that Isaiah hasn't had any issues with what I eat.  In the first several weeks, though, I was very careful about what I ate because I was nervous it might affect him.  I was careful with too much fruit, dairy, sugar, and continue to be closely watch my caffeine intake.  Caffeine can be one of the hardest ones, because new mommies, like myself, are sooooooooo tired.  But, I'm learning to live on the strength the Lord provides for the day instead of a 2nd cup of coffee or Diet Coke. :)

#6:  Sleep:  To let cry or always soothe?  Who knew that a baby's sleep would be so complicated?!  I certainly didn't!  The thoughts of sleep has dominated my thoughts since Isaiah's 7th or 8th week of life.  He's become a chronic 45 minute napper - which means he basically ALWAYS wakes up at the 45 minute mark (which is how long it take for a baby to go through a sleep cycle), though he needs about 1 hour 30 minutes+ per nap to be really well rested.  This has been a huge struggle, as he usually doesn't fall asleep very easily for the rest of his nap.  I've gotten good at doing other things in my life in 45 minute increments. :)
  Anyway, a baby needs to learn how to fall asleep, as all we adults have learned to do in our early childhood as well.  Some are better sleepers than others, and learn how to soothe themselves pretty quickly.  For others, it's more challenging.  There are many methods out there on how to teach your child to learn to fall asleep.  Some advocate always rocking, nursing, bouncing, or holding your baby until they're asleep and then putting them down.  Others recommend putting them in their crib for nap/bedtime awake and letting them cry until they fall asleep on their own.  We decided early on that because myself, as a new mommy, couldn't bear to hear his pitiful little cries without attending to him, that we would not let him "Cry it out" until he was about 4 months, as recommended in a book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Dr. Weissbluth.
   Instead, we worked on putting him down in his crib awake, but calm and drowsy; establishing a good consistent pre-nap/bedtime routine that helped him know it was time to sleep, and letting him use a pacifier to suck on.  Isaiah is usually quite good at going to sleep for his naps and bedtime.  But the waking up at the 45 minute mark remains our challenge....  Mommies out there - any tips or advice on this one? :)
   At 4 months old we started letting him cry at the beginning of naps/bedtime.  Our rule is that we will reinsert his pacifier one time in the first 5-10 minutes of the nap/bedtime, but that's it.  If he still isn't asleep and starts crying, he has to figure it out for himself.  We started at bedtime one night in May.  We knew it was going to be sooooooooo hard to listen to him cry, but both agreed it was for his good.  We readied ourselves for a gruelling evening of 2-3 hours listening to our precious one cry.   Sure enough, he started right up.  33 minutes later - silence!  Wahoo!  2nd night: 35 minutes.  3rd night: 10 minutes of mild fussing.   What a relief that it wasn't nearly so bad as we expected.  We are still working through what to do when he wakes up at the 45 minute mark, but we have learned that 1) there is not one 'right' way for a baby to fall asleep, 2) it's important to do what we feel comfortable with, and 3) remember to relax and just enjoy our baby!
   Maybe this decision doesn't carry some of the weight as the others I've mentioned, but it involves choices that we have to make everyday to help him gets the sleep he really does need.

#7: Perfume.  On a lighter note, I thought I'd throw in this one just because it really was a conscious decision I made.  I'd read somewhere before Isaiah was born that a baby knows his mommy by her smell, and so I wanted him to know who I was in those beginning days.  After about 3 months, I realized that, 'Oh! It's probably okay if I start wearing perfume now, I think he knows I'm his mommy."   I got so used to not wearing any that I still usually forget about it.  Don't worry, I never gave up deodorant!  :)

As I said at the beginning, there are many other decisions to be made every day concerning our baby, but these are some of the ones that took me by surprise. Lots of hard choices, but in return, we are blessed with this sweet face to look at every day:

What a gift he is to us! We love him so much.

Kira

Meet Kira.  She is beautiful, wild, and an incredible huntress.
(Photo by Esther Bouchard)

I thought I should mention the 4th member of our family, because she was a really big deal to our small family...before Isaiah came along. Oh well.  (Sorry kitty, we still love you, but you're no longer this mommy's baby.  Good thing you like Daddy better anyway! ha!)

We got her as an 8 week old kitten two years ago in May.  It was to help satisfy my ever-stronger growing urge to be a mommy.  It lasted about 7 months. :)  But, it was actually a huge step for us.  We had been married almost 5 whole years, without ever committing to the care an animal requires. Having a pet is a big commitment, so we finally took the plunge.  On top of that, Andrew is quite allergic to cats.  Yup.  Itchy eyes, runny nose, sneezing constantly, the whole nine yards.  So even though I really liked cats, I had resigned myself to the fact that we would never own one.

As it so happens, a few of the staff members at the center we work at are also allergic to cats, but had noticed that when they got a kitten, they seemed to grow accustomed to that one cat's dander, and didn't have any problems with their cat - that they raised from a kitten.  This happened in two particular households, so we thought maybe it would work (though Andrew was very doubtful).

Then, our friends' daughter got a kitten, and we were informed there were more available.....  They kindly offered to keep our kitten, if after a couple months, Andrew didn't adjust to it. Okay, he agreed.

BUT, Andrew said, we would get a male (cheaper to get fixed), AND, I had to agree to a set price he named that if it were to need medical help (say, a surgery or something), we would put it down instead of spending that amount of money. I practically cried just thinking about it, but, okay, it was reasonable enough. After all, I can barely count the number of cats I had growing up that either were hit by a car, disappeared, or were probably eaten by a larger species of the cat family that roamed the hills near my home. The length of a cat's life can be quite unpredictable.

The terms were set.  We had a backup plan in place. Off we went, to pick out our kitty. There were 5 left.  I didn't even look at the females, because getting a male was one of the conditions.  I was trying to decide which of the two were cuter, when Andrew comes over with a little female kitty.  She's snuggled up in his hand, looking absolutely adorable.  He holds her up, "Let's get this one!"  "Um, but it's a girl."  "Yeah, I know, let's get her!"  That's about how it went.

Here she is riding home in his lap.

She pretty much became a daddy's girl right away.  I could never get her to sleep in my lap; however, she had no problems snuggling up with Andrew.  That is, when she wasn't running and jumping and playing like crazy. She's always been extremely active.

She has also become our cat-dog.  She knows her name. She is very aware of what "No" means. She comes when we whistle. She does multiple tricks for food.  She goes on walks with us, staying close by the entire way.  She loves to ride along when we go canoeing or kayaking. She sleeps in her basket each night,
all night.

Though she doesn't snuggle much, she loves to be around people, be scratched under her chin, and in the mix of what's happening. She is often purring.

A quiet, cuddly moment. Rare, but lovely.
(Photo by Esther Bouchard)

Kira lost her purr when Isaiah arrived.  For six long weeks, she didn't make a sound, no matter what I tried to do. I think she was depressed. Or at least certainly not handling the change in our family well.  Suddenly she got a lot less attention. I felt pretty sad for her, in the rare moments during Isaiah's first few weeks of life that I even remembered we had a cat....

Around six or eight weeks, she perked back up and went back to her normal purring self.  She doesn't pay Isaiah much attention, which is okay with us. She does seem to have become a bit more of a trouble maker.  Most parents childproof their house/cabinets from their kids. We are having to childproof the house from our cat. :)

Even though she's no longer the center of our attention, we do love Kira, and she is indeed--and will remain--the 4th member of our little family.